With the release of the fourth Jurassic Park movie, I am left thinking about the first, second, third, and how the hell is there a fourth? I love the Jurassic Park films, and oh my gawd the ride. (One ride you just can’t get enough of at Universal Studios.) But the premise is killing me. After what happened in the first film… doesn’t anyone question why these idiots keep bringing back dinosaurs? Seriously.
Now I haven’t seen the latest film, (Jurassic World) but I have watched the others. I did boycott them for a while wondering how they didn’t just blow up the original Jurassic Park to make sure to kill all of the Velociraptors. Oh wait… they ended up having an entire island dedicated to letting dinosaurs evolve and live alone without human intervention in the second movie. In the end, I watched them anyway because let’s face it. Dinosaurs rule. But there are a few things I’ve noticed.
One: Throughout the films, the people responsible for bringing back the dinosaurs are insanely wealthy English guys. Two: These English fellows always seem to mess things up right when the American scientists are getting things under control. Three: The Americans always seem to be the guys who ‘save the day’ in the end when the Brits realize the error in their ways. (Bringing back dinosaurs) Four: Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve yet to see the new film. That being said; one has to wonder if the caged dinosaurs didn’t work in the Jurassic Park… why are they doing it again?
Here’s what I think the next (and hopefully last) movie should consist of:
All of the previous four movies should combine their ‘dino-zones’. Some species ended up surviving at the Jurassic Park, the Lost World, etc, etc. The dinosaurs have now found a way to live, and thrive. As they breed, and multiply, they end up taking over the entire world by land, air and water…
All of the original cast should come back to freak out on all of the scientists for bringing back dinosaurs. Especially the carnivorous ones. If they insist on bringing back these reptiles why the hell don’t they leave the meat eating guys back in their age extinction?
Jeff Goldblum should go nuts like he did in Independence Day. He could break into a satellite phone at the White House again, jump on Air Force One with the president and the rest of the gang then convince them to destroy all carnivorous dinosaur DNA with come presidential secret code.
And the end should consist of gathering up all crazy English dudes and locking them up in a plastic Magneto type prison so they can’t unleash anymore dinosaurs with some walking stick with a petrified mosquito in it. It kept Magneto locked up for a while. The English guys can’t hatch dinos in their plastic prisons. And shoot, even if they do, their beloved velociraptors can grow in the prisons with them. The perfect punishment for the perfect crime!
Tell me that wouldn’t be a Jurassic movie you’d love to watch. Admit it. That story line makes sense, AND there will still be some bad ass dinosaurs to watch.