How to say no to a salesperson

Working with people makes you aware of things you wouldn’t normally think about. Things like how to say no to someone without coming across as an asshole. Here are a list of do’s and don’t’s when dealing with a salesperson:

1 – Being rude to a salesperson and laughing about how rude you were with your friends.

point and laughThis is a definite don’t. First of all, you’re not original. Many have done this before you. Why you feel like this makes you cool or important we will never understand. You must have been a bully when you were a kid and we (salespeople) don’t like you. You being rude to a random stranger who is working is the equivalent of me walking into your shitty cubical at your entry level job (always what we assume of you jerks by the way) and pointing and laughing at you and your ugly tie and bullshit TPS reports. Not very nice is it? You are the type of people Taylor Swift makes songs about.

2 – We will think about it and be back.

be backYeah right guys. Why do you think it is more polite to put someone on with your ‘we will be right back’ nonsense. If you were actually going buy, or sign up, or whatever… you wouldn’t have to come back. You would want to get it done. One of two things happen when you pull this number. #1. The new sales person actually believes you. They hold out hope only to realize you flat out lied to them earlier on. It is like a delayed and magnified feeling of disappointment. All new sales people have believed your lies at one point (myself included) and it really sucks. #2. The more experienced sales rep knows that you have just lied straight to their face after going the distance with you to try to get the sale. At some point you lost interest and thought it would be ‘polite’ to ‘let them finish their pitch’. Just tell the sales person there is no way you are down. That is way more polite to salespeople. I should mention there is actually a #3 these days. I have began to ask for a nickle every time someone pulls this number with me. It is my polite way of calling above mentioned ‘be back-ers’ out and still turning a profit. It is the practical application of the idea of if I had a nickle every time I’ve heard that…

3 – No thanks, but you’re soooo good! You’ll get the next one!

better luck leoListen here. There is nothing more condescending than hearing a potential sale tell you are good at your job or any version of that when you were very obviously not good enough to close the very people who are giving you the insincere compliment/brush off. I’ve actually started laughing and replying with ‘I’m must not be that good huh? Ha, ha’ when people give me that load of crap. They actually laugh with you as long as you smile when you say that. Another note on this ‘you’re so good just not good enough for me’ b.s. Don’t ever feel the need to ‘comfort your crappy statement with a hand to the shoulder or the hand to the arm. There’s no need to touch me. I get it. You’re not interested. We don’t need to take this to any other level than no. That touching thing just freaks us all out and we try to maintain the appearance that you don’t make shivers go down our spines.

4 – Hey, I don’t want to waste your time. It’s just not for me.

winnerDING DING DING!!! Wow was that so hard guys? This is the proper was to say no to an obvious commission only employee. Don’t waste our time by thinking you’re being polite by listening to us forever. And don’t be a jerk and talk crap to us just to make yourself feel better. We work really hard. We don’t know you, and you don’t know us. If we met you and you bought from us, thank you. We really do appreciate all the people who buy. If you weren’t interested and you let us know, thank you for treating us like people. We appreciate your honesty.

If you were one of the a-holes mentioned above, knock it off. You will run into a sales person again I promise you. We are everywhere. Please realize we are people too and we are just trying to earn an honest buck. We might be selling something that will add to your life and make you happier. We might not. Just try to realize we are just doing our thing like you do when you’re at work. I will leave you with this image of a cute penguin making a statement.


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