Human emotion is an interesting thing to look at. We have so many different types of emotions and so many reasons for each one. Lately, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about jealousy. This is a tricky emotion, (much like all the others) that many times causes more harm than good depending on the amount that is present and what you do with it. I must caution, this is just my opinion. Let me dive right into it.
Through my few decades around the sun I’ve found there are a few reasons that typically spark jealousy. In my time, I’ve found one of the most common jealousy resides in romantic relationships. There are many reasons for it. One person may feel so in love they fear losing their partner. In my humble opinion, I think a little of this is good for both parties. Putting someone up on a pedestal sometimes makes us feel even more aware of our own insecurities. That can make one nervous about losing their ‘special someone’. This is why I think it is important to make sure to put your best foot forward in a romantic relationship. Used properly, this jealousy or insecurity can make a person put their best self present. Make sure you look nice, smell nice, act nice to keep your someone interests peaked.
Additionally, receiving small doses of jealousy helps boost one’s ego. At least, I think so. Who doesn’t feel the least bit flattered when their spouse gets a little nervous or jealous about you getting a little too much attention from the opposite sex? When this has happened to me, I would actually say out loud, “oh my God, are you getting jealous?” with a look of surprise and giddiness all over my face. Hell yeah I want him to get a little jealous. It means he cares enough to worry about losing me. By no means do I want him to take it overboard and turn into an out of no where, doesn’t even make sense, accusation throwing jerk. Like most things, moderation is key.
The second most common type of jealousy I’ve dealt with revolves around competition. I guess this could ultimately tie in with relationships as well, but for all intensive purposes I will list it as just another reason. Have you ever met someone who just couldn’t keep up with you? Hey… when you’re really good at something, anything, you will run into someone who can’t be as good right? Anyone with a decent amount of self confidence will try to compete. Much like I mentioned earlier, a moderate amount of jealousy can bring out the best in a person. It can make one strive to be better… strive to self improve. Others, however, don’t know how to come in second place with grace.
Example: Tonya Harding vs Nancy Kerrigan
You want to talk about a person who couldn’t handle not being the best?! Here’s the best example! Nancy Kerrigan was schooling Tonya Harding, and everyone for that matter, every time she hit the ice. No matter how good anyone was, they couldn’t beat her in the rink. Ms Harding, knowing full well she would never be able to compete with the one and only Nancy Kerrigan, chose another option to put herself in the running for the gold. In 1994, Tonya Harding hired a man to break Kerrigan’s leg so she would be able to compete. Well that is one way to beat someone who is just flat out better than you huh? This is what I like to refer to as, ‘if you can’t beat them, knock them out’. It is a sad way to exist.
Look guys. There is always going to be someone who is better at you at something. Just like there will always be someone better looking than you. The only way you will ever be able to compete is to know what your strengths and weakness are. Strengthen your weaknesses and make your strengths even stronger. Don’t give in to the feeling of defeat either. Where you may find yourself not being the best at one thing, don’t forget to give yourself the due credit you deserve for the things you do excel in. You may be the center of someone else’s jealousy and not even know it.
Side note: If you’re on the complete opposite side of the spectrum and think you’re awesome and no one can come close to your awesomeness… don’t. No one likes too big of an ego. Think Kayne West. Do you want to be seen as Kayne West? I don’t effing think so.