Do I have an extra? Pshhh please.

IMG952077Alright I am just going to come out with it. I have a bad habit. Yes. I smoke cigarettes. So many perfect pictures have been ruined by a pack of those yucky things and I hate it. I’m not proud of my nasty, smelly habit. And yeah it is an expensive one as well. I get crap talked to daily, mostly by random strangers. My favorite polite insult is, “you’re too pretty to smoke”. Thanks for your input. Next time I hear that I will let them know I smelled too nice when I got ready too. Couldn’t have that so I had to smoke a cigarette to make sure that I smelled like an ashtray. I am well aware of the crappiness of my habit. But you know what’s worse? When I am minding my own business, hiding off in a secluded corner of a dark parking lot, trying my best not to offend any random stranger with my personal decision of smoking, and some entitled douche has the audacity to come up to me and ask me if I have an extra cigarette they can have.

images (3)This pisses me off to no end. Let me dive right into this and explain how stupid you sound if you happen to be one of these d-bags.

Going up to a stranger to ask for a hand out is bad enough. It’s as annoying as the dudes with the signs on the freeway off ramps. Listen buddy… I know you fell on hard times. You can ask for a job as easy as asking for people to hand over their paychecks to you. But cigarettes? That’s a luxury item. Not a necessity like the dudes off of the freeway asking for food. Knock it off.

Speaking of luxury…you want an extra. Really? Why would I go to the store, to pay for my expensive, disgusting habit by buying of a pack of cigarettes, then stop… remember and say oh yeah… I actually needs to buy extras just in case a stranger wants some. Ha! That doesn’t happen. I buy enough for my own personal consumption. It’s like getting french fries. Are you going to walk up to me at Mc Donald’s and ask if I have extra fries too? No you wouldn’t. Why the eff would I? I was hungry so I bought these to eat. Same effing logic people.

images (4)Let’s get real. It’s gets better. These a holes are so entitled, they even think it’s okay to interrupt me when I am on the phone several times to ask if I have an extra cigarette. Oh…l I’m sorry. Was my important phone call making it more difficult for you to ask me for a hand out? Oh my bad, my bad, asshole. Let me tell my boss to hold on so I can give you, (the bum) a cigarette. Then, as if that’s not bad enough, once I return to my call you need to interrupt AGAIN to ask for a lighter. Shit… do you want me to smoke it for you too?

So today, what had happened wasss… one guy was cool enough to offer to pay for a cigarette whilst interrupting my phone call. But in the end the joke was on me as he held out a $20 dollar bill and then asked if I had change. Well… he worked me over huh? Cool story. Then the fourth dude to ask me if I had an EXTRA cigarette today, got offended when I said no. Really bro? He walked off, asked two more people, got his smoke then starred at me as he smoked his free cigarette in the designated smoking area of the mall. When he was done,download he walked back to his car and took off! Dude! Seriously?! This guy drove to the mall.. searched out the smoking area, bummed a cigarette, and left. Like… how much gas did that cost him to make the trip? Logically, you’d think it would be cheaper just to buy a pack of your own right? Nah… you need to bum and make people feel uncomfortable when they say no. I don’t have an EXTRA. In retrospect, I wish I would have taken his picture just to post it on here and let everyone know what an a-hole he is.

Listen people. I’m done giving out cigarettes. I don’t even like smoking and I’m trying to quit. But with the pack I do end up buying… they will all be intended for my own personal use. Not YOURS. From now on… if you try to interrupt my smoke break JUST to ask if I have an extra, I will give you my extra words and extra thoughts on your own bad habit of bumming off of my bad habit instead of giving you a cigarette.


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