You’ve got to be kidding me

Tonight was one for the books. It was The definition of a Whathadhappenedwasss moment. So without anymore hype to the tonight’s events, here it is… what had happened wasss…

I went to dinner after work to check out a new spot in Orange County. I thought the new restaurant would be the topic of discussion on tonight’s blog. Very cool place I will talk about in a later post. Half way into my delicious garlic fries and beer someone came up to my table to say hello. Normally… I enjoy my quiet time whilst eating, but I had received some particularly good news about my soon to be released book just before I ordered so I happened to be in a more welcoming mood than usual. When I peeled my eyes away from the amazing appetizer in front of me, I realized this someone was a guy I dated about a billion years ago.

At first, of course I was moderately happy to see this guy. We didn’t end on bad terms and like I already mentioned, it seemed to be a lifetime ago the last time we saw each other. I gave him one of those ‘ass out, finger tap to the shoulder hugs’. I happen to be a huge fan of personal space. It takes practically a formal invitation or a blood relative to get much more than that type of hug from me.

We immediately started with the ‘oh my God how have you been?! It’s been ages!’ *All still standing I might add. Alone time is rare for me and I wasn’t about to invite anyone to join me for a meal. Plus… I hoped this little run in would be brief πŸ˜‰ * It didn’t take long for me to notice this guy was wobbling and blinking a little more than one should. Then it dawned on me. This idiot is drunk. He pulled out a chair at my solo dinner table and started in about some story that made absolutely no sense. Still standing, I looked around and fight or flight kicked in. Okay Heather. Don’t make a scene. He will leave… Just play cool here then you can get back to your garlic fries and leave… Except that didn’t happen.

This d bag reminded me exactly why I disliked him in the first place. He almost immediately started talking about my recent successes with my writing and heard I had found love in my life. I nodded politely saying nothing while looking around for a waiter to give the please for the love of God help look to. The moment I made eye contact with the sweet waitress who helped me pick out my yummy appetizer… this idiot decided to start shouting about how I think I’m too good for everyone I grew up with now that I’m ‘famous’. I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head as embarrassment painted my face and I stared into the waitress’s eyes. Thank the lord she immediately knew the situation was quickly turning crazy and got a manager to help.

I stood up out of my chair and the fight took over as flight left the playing field. Finally I spoke and all the how have ya been bullshit was gone. “Listen jerk. I don’t know what you think you know about me or who you think you’re talking to, but there’s a reason we never kept in touch. First of all, you’re drunk. Secondly, I don’t have half a clue what you’re talking about with this fame crap. Seriously. Lastly and most importantly, it’s men like you who remind me why I’m happy to be eating alone tonight. Get the hell away from me and I hope to hell you’re not driving in your condition.”

About half way into my little speech the manager and waitress had already shown up to remove this jerk from the restaurant to prevent him from ruining anyone else’s dinner out. They let me finish and put him in his place. When I was done, they asked him to leave and walked him out with his metaphorical tail between his legs. Needless to say, I enjoyed the remainder of my garlic fries but cut my dinner short. Before I left, my waitress gave me a huge hug and said I was her hero. *she got a nice tip for her sweet words*

I was glad I stood up for myself. I felt like I was taking a stand against all the men who had wronged me in the past. It was embarrassing yet liberating. So that, my friends, is what had happened tonight.

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