I was cleaning out my nightstand drawer tonight. Now I don’t know about any of you out there, but this drawer seems seems to collect things here and there over time. Whether it be a necklace, a stray earing, or one of the million bobby pins that have gone missing, little things always seem to find there way in this magical drawer of random things.
I’m not sure why I decided to clean it out today. All I know is this evening I found myself randomly checking it out not looking for anything specific. Maybe I was bored? Maybe feeling a little nostalgic? Looking for some kind of something from before I was missing but forgot about? Who knows. I sure wasn’t thinking about looking for all those bobby pins I ended up finding. I can’t ever seem to remember to look there when I’m actually in need of one…
20 minutes later… I found myself with a pile of stuff on my lap going through it with no real purpose. As I started to wonder why I was even going through everything in the first place, something still in the back corner of the drawer caught my eye. It looked like a coin. As I picked it up, I saw that it was a pendant given to me by a very dear friend of mine. He said it was Saint Christopher and asked me to keep it close. My friend told me as long as I had it with me, I’d be safe wherever I went. The memory of the warmth in his words and how kind he always was now saddened me. It had been years since we last saw each other. I tried to shake the feeling. Nothing good usually comes from thinking too much on the past…
As if the pendant wasn’t enough to get my emotional brain going thinking about the past, the next thing I found was a hand written letter given to me by the same friend.
As I read it, I felt my heart became heavy. The letter was dated May 2012. The memories of people I once loved so dearly ran through my mind. It filed me with so much sadness. Still, the people from my memories hold a place in my heart. Few, a very special place. I thought about how those relationships grew apart over the years and how I missed the happiness we shared.
I still have so much warmth in my heart for those who no longer cared to have me in their lives. It made me wonder if the other halves of those connections ever felt the same way. After enough time passing between two people, it may not be a thought worth spending much time on… but nonetheless I’m sure at least one of you had felt the same way.
Needless to say, I’ll keep my St Christopher with me again, and I’ll be keeping myself away from the nostalgic time machine for a while.